Rodman in North Korea: Everyone Covers Themselves in Glory
by Marcus Noland | March 4th, 2013 | 06:17 amDennis Rodman: Rodman is a train wreck waiting to happen. From initially getting North and South Korea confused to his parting paean to three generations of Kim family leadership, Worm lived down to expectations. D
VICE Media/HBO: We reserve judgment until seeing the documentary. And you should too. Incomplete. For KCNA’s coverage, see below.
The United States Department of State: The past week might lead one to conclude that petulance is part of State’s DNA. The Rodman press briefings were pathetic. Maybe we’ll talk to him if he calls us? Even if you think Worm has no brain cells left, at least talk to the VICE crew after they recover from their collective hangover. Seriously, we’re flying blind and you show no interest in debriefing these folks because the trip wasn’t your idea? And guys, Rodman just raised the ante on you by claiming that he carries the personal message of Kim Jong-un that the President should “call him” because he wants to avoid war. Provisional D. Call Dennis and we’ll reassess. Or better yet: message to Langley: you call the VICE Media crew. If professionalism won’t move us forward, then perhaps bureaucratic rivalry will.
Kim Jong-un: Eric Schmidt, the leader of possibly the most innovative firm in the world, and Dennis Rodman, circus act, come to town. Which one do you meet with? F (i.e. you have revealed yourself to be an even bigger fool than Dennis Rodman). Unless you actually do call Obama. Then we will definitely reassess.
The Pundrity: I loved all the moral outrage, though I don’t recall hearing the same degree of opprobrium being heaped on the New York Philharmonic when they went a-calling and Maestro Lorin Maazel spewed similar self-justifying inanities (though admittedly not as insane as Rodman’s). Somehow I have to believe that this has something to do with race and class (and the fact that the Knicks have not won a championship since before Kim Jong-un was born). And lost amid the chatter was the bigger picture: past reporting by Shane Smith and VICE Media (see here here here and here) depicted North Korea in a highly unflattering light. What were the possible implications of the fact that the North Koreans would not let Smith back in but did allow in his crew? Is the pernicious cycle of self-censorship in return for access starting to break down? These are puzzles that no one addressed. C
Steph Haggard: My compadre hit the nail on the head: “America produces Dennis Rodmans–and stem cell research and Nobel laureates and Hollywood and Beyoncé. It’s about freedom. What does North Korea produce? Reverse-engineered missiles and nucs, and nothing else. Which society do you want to live in? Of course Rodman is going to say dumb things; he’s not a politician. But do the Norks have a tattooed rebounder like the Worm? Fughgetaboutit. Give me Rodman–and the society that produces him–any day.
And on the North Korean side, the real story is the utter self-indulgence of the leadership. They have the opportunity to talk to the leaders of one of the most innovative companies in the world, plus a politician in Richardson who is about as sympathetic as you will find in the entire political spectrum. And what do they do? Opt for Showtime for Kim III. What’s pathetic is not Rodman, but North Korea.” A
And for the last word, Mort Abramowitz: it’s not every day that someone with a towel wrapped around themselves walks up to you in the gym locker room and offers: “Give Rodman a spot on your blog.” Mort might have been kidding (you would have to ask him), but the more I thought about it…. So, Dennis, or whoever handles your business affairs, Foggy Bottom be damned: give us a call. For all sorts of reasons, Haggard and I have always turned down previous requests to “guest” on this blog, but for you we’ll make an exception. This being a family-oriented blog we would reserve the right to edit for language since we don’t use words like a*****e and d******d (even when referring to ourselves), but we noted that you did not resort to such language when being interviewed by Stephanopoulos or in any of your other encounters with the press in the past week so we doubt that it will be an issue. We look forward to your first post.
Dan Pinkston at the International Crisis Group weighs in with a consideration of the role of sports in the North Korean regime–including the new sports commission–and a proposal for more basketball diplomacy:
http://www.crisisgroupblogs.org/strongandprosperous/2013/03/11/us-dprk-basketball-diplomacy-maybe-president-obama-should-pick-up-the-phone/
Stephan Haggard March 11, 2013 | 10:07 pm
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As for Rodman, I would also be more generous, though not as much as with KJU because Rodman has a better body of work. If you compare traveling to NK with:
leading the NBA in rebounding
being defensive player of the year
being on 5 NBA championship teams
dating Madonna
giving a tearful speech on your induction at the hall of fame
those are all things that most of us would consider pretty good to have on our resume, while, conversely, most of us would consider “meeting Kim Jong Un” above
marrying Brigitte Nielsen
going bankrupt
being a famous buffoon
So, grading on the curve, I give Rodman a C+, since most of us would attach at least some cachet to meeting a famous world leader.
Fred Zimmerman March 4, 2013 | 2:24 pm
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I have to say that I haven’t watched any of the Rodman interviews on news yet, my awareness is limited to glimpses on ESPN as I waited for SportsCenter to replay Trey Burke’s dazzling last-second steal in the Michigan-Michigan State game. (ok, that’s gratuitous). But what I saw was Kim Jong Un sitting next to Rodman at a basketball game and a couple of other places, and I have to say that what I thought was “that doesn’t look like someone who wants to start a nuclear war.” I even thought “he looks pretty hip.” So I would give Kim Jong Un a better grade, maybe a “B”.
Fred Zimmerman March 4, 2013 | 2:17 pm
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Look, I have to confess that I genuinely “love” Dennis Rodman. Truly I do. I’m a huge fan. I love his story, I love his struggles, I love his innocence and cluelessness, and as a fan of professional basketball I absolutely marvel at his lifetime NBA rebounding percentages!!! Still, despite having been one of the most truly amazing basketball players of all time (as a rebounder and a defender), and despite having made tens or hundreds of millions of dollars during his strange and broad-ranging career, and despite still having a rather astonishing ability to continually put himself in the public spotlight, Dennis Rodman is a colossal screw-up! Of course! And yet despite all his glaring shortcomings, Rodman may be—under extraordinarily unique conditions—a rather adept, or at least convivial, diplomat.
It goes without saying, I suppose, that Rodman was able to travel to North Korea not because HBO saw profit in his visit but because the US State Department saw a possible advantage in it (the United States get’s possible intelligence and the North Koreans are forced to scramble to avoid ridicule). The CIA version of the WH situation room must have been standing room only this past week, so score one for the State Department. But my point is this: who can doubt that North Korean apparatchiks (bad choice of wording, I realize) didn’t experience a moment of giddy confusion when their translators reported what Rodman had told the US media: “I love him. The guy’s awesome. He was so honest… He’s my friend. The people love him!” etc., etc. Sure, they must have been thinking out loud: He’s a monster! He’s soooo black! He’s disgusting! He has no sense of personal dignity or decorum. He’s our worst nightmare and at the same time our most comforting vision all wrapped up into one! He confirms, absolutely, everything our propagandists have been telling us for decades, only worse! Americans are violent, monstrous, sex-craved interbreeding devils with huge noses and vile manners. But this guy…not even our chief propagandist could have imagined THIS GUY!!!!
Be careful what you wish for, because if it’s a devil that devil might just fall in love with you!
Dennis Rodman, due to his personal shortcomings and idiosyncrasies, might well turn out to be the best potential North Korean ambassador we have on the shelf. Therefore, I say, let’s hook him up! If “The Worm” and Kim Jeong-eun got along as well as Rodman says they did, let’s put him on a plane, send him back to Pyeongyang, and give him a real job. Let’s make Dennis Rodman our next Ambassador to North Korea. Let’s ask him to set up shop.
Look, if Rodman becomes as huge a hit in North Korea as he’s been here in the United States, then before long President Obama will be hosting basketball jams at the White house for Kim Jeong-eun and his friends. That would certainly be strange and unexpected, but it’d be a heck of a lot better than where we stand today, don’t you think?
Yeah, I love Dennis Rodman. He’s my man!
Aaron Olds March 4, 2013 | 9:22 am
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