Imagine you’re a decorated member of the military and a powerful political figure. Where’s the best place to display your might? If you’re Choe Ryong Hae, that place might be an amusement park. According to the KCNA, North Korea’s leading competitor with The Onion, Choe Ryong Hae recently visited the Mangyongdae and Taesongsan Funfairs to provide guidance on how to “provide people with better conditions for entertainment.” All of this apparently at the order of Kim Jong Un. Read the story below and check out the images of the tour (with dialogue I imagine must be taking place).
Pyongyang, June 12 (KCNA) — Choe Ryong Hae, member of the Presidium of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party of Korea and director of the General Political Bureau of the Korean People’s Army, visited the Mangyongdae Funfair and the Taesongsan Funfair to learn about the progress made in the projects for renovating the funfairs.
The soldier-builders are making signal progress in the projects in hearty response to the order of Supreme Commander Kim Jong Un to provide people with better conditions for entertainment.
Choe went round different places of the funfairs to acquaint himself with the projects.
He underlined the need for the soldier-builders to ensure the quality in the projects and conduct greening under a long-term plan as befitting the recreation grounds for people, bearing in mindKim Jong Un’s noble outlook on the people and future.
He took measures for solving the issues arising in the projects.
He called on the soldier-builders to complete the projects as scheduled unconditionally, true to the intention of Kim Jong Un to enable the people to enjoy wealth and prosperity under socialism. -0-
“Does everyone have their buddy? We are not going to lose anyone this time.”
“Where are the corn dogs?!? I hear they sell giant ones at Disneyland. “
“I will need to ride the roller coaster at once! I call dibs on the front seat. Get a picture of me as I go through the loop.”